Bad Openers

Writing students are taught to consider their audience when crafting their work, to try to step out of their own perception of it and look at it from a likely reader's point of view. A standard question that marketing writers ask themselves is, "What does my target audience want?" and the work is then crafted to answer it. Trying to sell a used car to people with little money? Emphasize your client's EZ-Finance plan, not the pricey add-ons.

Trying to sell yourself? Don't start like this:

i am outgoing friendly and a genuinely caring person, maybe too much, tend to be taken advantage of.

If you're in the market for a doormat, this may be your perfect partner!

Here's everyone's fantasy, sort of:

Im looking for a good friend I happen to be attracted to that I can talk to for hours on end.

One sentence in, and I'm already picturing horribly complicated emotional games where we've got this vibe going but for some reason we aren't going there, and then I remember -- I was banished to the friend zone right from the start!

This approach is especially irritating. I think of it as the motivational speaker approach:

Looking for honesty, compassion, ambition, and the desire to improve your life style.

And what exactly is wrong with my lifestyle? And who are you to judge? We've never even met, and I'm pretty sure that's for the best.

Please, online daters, consider your audience when you write these profiles. It's great to squeeze a little of your vulnerability in, and the right mix of out-in-front insecurity certainly can lend a disarming element as you describe your experience accepting the Nobel Prize for Physics that one time, but step lightly. If it helps, just pretend you're a copy editor and some schmuck just handed you a bio. You know, if it helps.