Friday, January 16, 2009

Man Seeks Rigid Gender Roles

Some profiles I read and feel my chest get tight with anxiety. Hey, everybody has their tastes, but somehow coming across a profile like this reminds me of the deep divides between the young and the old, the urban and the rural, the Red and the Blue.

Hi and thanks for taking time to read my profile.
Hi yourself, Mr. Man!
I consider myself to be one of a dying breed,
He's dying? How sad.
a man who is a true romantic at heart.
Oh. I see.
I am the man who sends flowers to a woman for no reason other than to let her know I am thinking of her.
That's kind of sweet.
The guy who leaves a note in your purse for you to find later so you will know I care,
Is that alongside the flowers? Because there's a fine line between sweet and creepy.
and the fellow who can't wait to get home from work because he cannot wait to see you.
Well at least he's not quitting his job because he can't stand to be away from you.
Yeah, I guess I still believe in the fairy tale romance, because I am looking for a lady who desires to be treated like a princess.
A princess with very little autonomy.
I am Christian gentleman, honest to a fault, a non smoker, non drinker and have never ever used drugs.
Never ever? Did you go to college man?
I have an 15 y/o son who is with me every other weekend and I love children very much. I enjoy watching my son play sports and help with his teams when I am able to.
Involved dads are good.
I enjoy Gospel and Country music.
Funny, I was expecting him to say hip hop.
I also am a very avid camper (in a big camper) and enjoy the outdoors very much.
Oh, he's one of those RV guys. Sorry buddy, that ain't camping.
The mountains and the beach are both great destinations.
For your camper.
I have never been into the bar scene and am not a dancer.
Then I won't hold you closer.
My match will be a lady who desires to have a best friend for life but can proudly say that her best friend is also her soul mate.
Hope springs eternal, no?
Someone who shares some common interests and values with me.
Or, you know, all interests and values.
If you are looking for a true romantic at heart, someone who believes a lady should be treated like a princess and will always be there for you in any situation life may offer us, then drop me a line.
Okay, RE: "Princess", I do not think that word means what he thinks it means. Because princess, actually, is not a synonym for "housewife." Really, I looked it up.
I look forward to getting to know you. Thanks again.
Oh, it just hurts. And yes, this is all judgement and far more about me than about him, but good lord. He can't wait to come home from work to see her, indicating that she better be there waiting for him. No powerful job for her, no business trips, just a penchant for cooking roasts that are ready every weekday at 5:35.

Yes, I'm being unfair. Yes, the guy sounds incredibly decent (if you're into that sort of thing), but there's little in the world that unsettles me more than the male ideal of a compliant woman. He's got it, and if you want to be his little homebound princess in the gilded cage of his romantic fantasy, hit him up.

1 comment:

  1. This guy should be punched in the face by a princess. No girl wants to be treated like a damsel-in-distress type princess, especially if she's very athletic, successful, assertive, and confident. Guys who treat girls like princesses are looking to get their hearts broken by a girl because they're not looking at girls as equal human beings. Girls that are treated like princesses and put on a pedestal are more likely to run off with other guys than girls who aren't. That guy should be banned from online dating sites or change his profile or else no girl would ever go for him.

    ReplyDelete

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